Saturday 20 August 2011

LGBT - Coming Out

It's odd, really. I enjoy blogging a lot, because it's great fun, regardless of the small demographic, but I never show my parents my blog... because I talk on it about the fact that I'm bisexual. And the odd thing here is, well, everyone knows it. I'm openly bisexual, but, I'm not open about it with my parents. Here's the kicker: they already know.

I came out publicly about two years ago (this is an estimate.) It was about when I first got Facebook, and I saw that on the preferences section, you could list both "Men" and "Women" as your "Interested in:". This was a pleasant surprise, but I nonetheless only selected Women as I was in the closet at that time. Later, I thought "Fuck it" and balled up the courage to tick both boxes, and publicly announce it.

The following two weeks were... hectic. The day after, everybody in school came up to me to say "Leo, are you bi?" as if they had to get my royal confirmation (well, my last name is King,) for the fact that I'm bi. That happened the next day, and the day after, and then I still had the odd person saying it for the fortnight. The nice part of it was, I got a lot of praise for coming out. I still remember two girls who I'd never met before coming up to me on the way home from school and congratulating me by name, because they saw it on Facebook. The downside was, suddenly everybody in school knew my name, and a lot of people were teasing, joking, not exactly bullying but a lot of harassing. Let me tell you, that has carried on up until today; not often, but there's still the occasional bastard who tries to pinch my ass or "flirt" with me because they think I want their penis. It's almost never the girls.

That said, I don't regret it. And I hardly ever went through the experiences that many LGBT teens go through where they find themselves deserted or abandoned by so-called "friends" when they come out. On the contrary, I became a lot closer to people, more comfortable now that I wasn't hiding, more confident in myself, now that I was finally able to openly challenge homophobic views without feeling as if I was compromising myself. And despite the harassment I received, which is today few and far between, and the pestering from those even with good intentions, I got a much better deal than other people out there. People who are physically abused, abandoned by "friends", treated like dirt, laughed at, even murdered, for being LGBT... well, that just says it all.

I'm glad I came out, and I'm glad that I was fortunate enough to not live in an area where that kind of thing goes on. But, though I know they know, I still can't, won't openly talk about it with my parents, will deny it if asked, because I'm just too embarrassed, for no good reason. I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know they both know already, that my mum would accept me no matter what and that my dad will always love me... so why do I find it so hard? Why can't I do it?

Why won't I?

~Leonidas

4 comments:

  1. I know how you feel, but sometimes is best to take your time you know. Everything can't end bad but at the same time it can't end perfectly good. You might have lost some friends, but you may have gained more friends and more respect too ^.^ Perhaps they sometimes flirt or joke about it but they are trying to get along with you on "their own" ways even if its that weird. And i know sometimes some people might seem jerks or worse. But it's still worth it by telling who you really are rather than hiding it. Anyways, take your time alright? Att Yoed :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Keep in mind most don't talk about their sexuality with their parents so in that respect you're normal. We all have things that we share with the public that for whatever reason we don't share with those that truly know us.

    Be who you are, be happy with who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I haven't come out either, and my parents don't know, although they might have guessed considering I snuggle with female friends. :P Oops. Ah well. I'm just terrified at the thought of telling them o.o Well, good luck, and maybe we can try together. :L

    ReplyDelete

The comment form beckons. I will love you forever if you let me know what you think of this post! You may even get a cookie. Not a real one, but... okay, you get a cyber-huggle. You get something!

...Pretty please <3.

Total Pageviews